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Bill Ding cartoon

Notice this is phrased in the future tense: someday they will undergo inspection, perhaps for lead. Until then, you're a guinea pig. Was that asbestos in the attic insulation, by the way? A little radon in the basement den won't hurt you, right? Your furnace doesn't emit too much carbon monoxide, surely?
 
Interesting fact about this ad: This was repeated in almost a dozen consecutive issues of the newspaper in the second half of 1968. All the rest were never repeated except for one or two. Either they ran out of fresh clipart (and didn't buy more until winter) or the hardware store in question knew that the business was circling the drain.
 
Rejected ad slogan:
In some Paint of Quality
I will take a bath -
When dry I'll paint your wife
Or you will feel my wrath

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