voiceover: The horror of alopecia eyebrowsis can be cured in your lifetime. For just pennies
a day – the worth of a cup of office coffee – you can help find a cure for this heartbreaking
ailiment. Until we find that cure, the National Eyebrow Baldness Fund gives 25% of its donations
to buying long thin pieces of natural-looking fur and rubber cement to help victims fit into society.
Don't hurt me for making fun of the issue. If you have healthy brows, leave the damn
things alone!!! Do not tweaze them, shave them or otherwise fuck them up! Please!
Otherwise you wind up getting replacement surgery after the damage has been done.